Well if you’ve seen my Instagram it may seem like I’ve got my life together, I do now!! But it wasn’t easy navigating my life around 2 young kids andddd still having a life! Notice my title says how to boss it…. not how to be a perfect mother etc. Because being perfect is overrated and boring. Let’s just cope and then boss it! I kind of wrote this for mum of 2 life but then realised its kinda relevant just for mum life.
- Build a solid support system. Trust me, if you want your sanity then get a good circle around you. People who actually want to know your kids and have a good relationship with them and don’t see looking after them as a favour to you or a chore. We’ve had family members literally sigh when we ask and see it as a burden. Erm no thank you, goodbye. Life is way too short for crappy people, and there’s so many opportunities to make new friends. One of the things have kept me sane is having a girls group chat, we can bitch about our men and kids completely guilt free. It’s good to know you’re not going through it alone and when the kids are in bed, it’s fun! Dating apps for me are obviously in the past and never coming back so this is the next best thing.
- Get organised AF. Think ahead, and I’m going to give you solid advice. Do washing every other day! It may not feel like it’s only a small wash but if you don’t then it’ll build up! Next thing you know your crying that your washing machine is too small and you’re drowning in sicky baby vests. Keep on top of it and remember – washing takes long to dry so stay ahead. Also, my iPhone notes are my savour. The amount of things I have to note down to remember and to stay organised. I literally write out lists for the next few days of things that need doing.
- get up & get TF out! This has always been my number 1 advice. Nothing will make you feel worse than sitting round in pjs all day. I get such bad cabin fever even if I stay in for 1 day! I HAVE to get out and HAVE to get the kids out otherwise I get so stressed. So make sure you get up, shower, put on a boss outfit and get TF out! Even if it’s for a walk or to the park or out for a coffee. Or for a play date! I mean covid made this hard but we still utilised our 1 daily walk.
- learn to have time out on the naughty corner YOURSELF! Sometimes, we need a breather. We tell our kids to take time out when they get in a state or stressed to calm down but then we don’t do it ourselves. If I find myself getting stressed then I’ll go sit in my bedroom for 5 minutes and compose myself. You’ll come back to the situation more rationally. But remember – sometimes we lose our shxt and that’s ok too. When I do, I get such mum guilt so now I’ve learned to walk away sometimes. Kids pick up on your stress and it adds to those.
- Nicely moving on to the next one…. feel your emotions. Cry those tears! It will make you feel so much better and there’s nothing worse than bottling up and exploding.
- go on overpriced online websites and order yourself some out there fashion pieces and stay away from mum frump. Then, get yourself a bottle of gin, have some pre drinks. Have a friend over or head to a bar. take time for yourself! When lockdown was lifting, I had one of my best friends over quite a lot and we ended up consuming lots of gin- lotsss of bitching and ranting and lots of fun!!! and it’s just what I needed! Where pubs are now open- get out there and in the nicest way possible. Trust the person looking after your kids and try not to worry about them. You need YOU time. All mums need a break- we are with our kids 24/7, it’s strenuous! And if possible- DATE NIGHTS! Rekindle and light that flame! Luckily me and jack have never actually gone through a dry spell but we do like to have date nights – even at home. A few weeks ago, I came home to a spotless house & jack cooking us steak! It’s hard to get childcare, especially if you have more than 1 kid but build yourself a good support system! I haven’t actually left Callie for a full night yet- I’ll go out etc but always be there for her through the night as she likes going on my boob! But those hours on the evening are much needed!!!!
- Get rid of unrealistic high expectations. Because realistically what mother doesn’t enjoy putting On toy story for an hour and being able to even shower. Or just chill with a coffee. And it’s 2020, can we accept kids don’t like sitting with us in the same chair at a restaurant. We entertain Nate for as long as possible. If we are in a pub garden then we let him run around but if we are in a nice restaurant where feral children probably will be frowned upon then there’s nothing that YouTube for kids can’t fix! I’m still absolutely baffled why kids like Ryan’s world so much but hey ho, he’s quiet and I can eat my food in peace. We are human! We are surviving this crazy world of motherhood- WITHOUT a nanny. You do you!!!!
i hope this has helped!!!! Since doing these things, I’ve been so much happier!!!
lots of love
Daisy Jane x