Life with 2 is basically exactly you’d imagine – pretty hectic! I think I’ve found the adjustment from 1-2 harder than 0-1. In terms of looking after Callie, it is much easier as we know what we are doing however adding a toddler who’s in the middle of his terrible twos is difficult! Nate is literally 2 years 6 months now.
When we first started trying and fell pregnant, i felt instant mum guilt for both the children. I’ve wrote a blog post which I explain this more but guilty for Nate as he wouldn’t have me to himself anymore and guilty for the baby as she’d never have my full attention either whereas Nate had it for over 2 years.
We decided to tell Nate I was pregnant with a baby and towards the end he started to understand more. He knew what a baby was and there was one in my tummy, he’d come over and stroke my tummy and tell everyone ‘BABY’ and pull up my top! But we aren’t sure if he fully understood the baby would be coming out and living with us. When we decorated his room – we got him a new big boy single bed and painted his side green and put his cotbed on the babies side and painted it pink. He fully understood the cot was now babies.
When we first introduced them, he kept his distance but went over to her and fed her bottle to her! It was really cute. On the whole he has kept his distance from her, he won’t cuddle her and he won’t let you put her on his lap. However, he is gentle and caring to her. He will bring over her muzzy for her and dummy and put it on her. Also he bought over her teddy bear and put it in her arm for her. In bed last night, he laid next to her and was stroking her head saying awhhhh. We say to say goodnight Callie and he’ll say ‘ goodnight baby’ and then gives her a goodnight kiss. He is really sweet to her and is slowly getting more used to her and getting closer to her which is lovely to see.
It can be really difficult with two I won’t lie. When Callie cries, Nate will sometimes fake cry as he wants attention too. Nate is the only grandchild so is used to getting all the attention. However since me and Jack have been together, and Malakai has been in our lives too, this has helped with Nates sharing so much. He has got reallt good at it which is amazing. It’s really difficult when both children are crying and I’m on my own, if Jack was there then he’d sort one and I’d sort the other. But the other day, Nate was overtired and got in a state about having a bath and was screaming and crying. Callie was kicking up a fuss also as she wanted to be held. I had to think who needed me more in that moment and Nate was so upset. He needed a cuddle from me, j lifted him out the bath and he cuddled me and I could just feel that he reallt needed that at that moment from me. It breaks your heart though. Luckily jack had walked through the door so sorted Callie. But having to make the choice on who needs you more in that moment is horrible.
Having a newborn and toddler can be hard because they both need different things from you. Callie wants to be held all day and she is quite a difficult fussy baby. (Apparently this is a girl thing) she is also colic. So she would happily lay on me all day, and if I didn’t have a toddler then I’d happily cuddle her all day. However, my toddler needs me up and doing things. He needs me to be active and to play with him and entertain him. Sometimes I can’t do these things with him though as I’ll be breastfeeding. However he looks to see what I’m doing and he really does understand that baby is feeding and she needs to be fed etc.
Thinking about them two playing together just melts me and I can’t wait for that. A few days before she arrived, we were watching Nate play in the garden by himself and thought that he really needs a little sibling to play with. He’s definitely got to that age so it’s the perfect age gap. They can actually play together when she’s big enough.
Overall, the 2 and half year age gap is perfect. I’m glad Nate wasn’t any younger as he is very independent at this age and I don’t have to watch him every single minute. Compared to him as a 1 year old where I’d have to follow him everywhere. He definitely has understanding of baby sister which is good and he’s so so gentle and caring for her. I’ve always wanted children close in age so I’m glad they are!!!! It’s hard but I wouldn’t change it 💗💗💗💗💗
Lots of love